


Amity's Calamity

by OneEyedGeirtyr



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angry Amity Blight, Comedy, F/F, Gay Disaster Amity Blight, Oblivious Luz Noceda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28064331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneEyedGeirtyr/pseuds/OneEyedGeirtyr
Summary: Luz cuts an eldritch lemon. The Blight twins take a compromising photo. Amity absolutely loses it.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 4
Kudos: 124





	Amity's Calamity

**Amity’s Calamity**

The Owl House was full today, full of a ‘bunch of stinkin' brats’, as Eda had so eloquently put it right before leaving with her sister Lilith to run some errands. This left Luz, King, Amity, Willow, Gus, Emira and Edric all alone in the living room, warming up for the sure to be eventful evening ahead. It was during this phase that Luz realized how horrible a host she was being and got up to get everyone a glass of water, with a ‘surprise’. Amity trailed after her, determined to help Luz carry everything out. 

The surprise mentioned earlier, was _not_ what she expected. 

“I had no idea you guys had lemons!” Luz said, as she placed the supposed ‘lemon’ down on a plate in front of her, knife in hand. “It makes water soooo much more exciting! Which, I mean, isn't _that_ much more, but still!” 

Amity watched, concern and confusion written all over her face. “Luz…” 

“It is a little odd that the one normal thing on this island happens to be these amazing little fruits… Still! Wait till you try it! It's gonna blow your mind!” Her knife began to cut into the strangely thick outer layer, a sickening hiss escaped the incision. 

Amity winced. “Luz, wait no that's not-” 

A spray of horrid smelling juices splashed Luz right in the face. She let out a scream, deep, guttural, and absolutely horrifying for any who loved her to hear. Amity frantically drew a messy spell circle in an attempt to clear Luz’s face. 

Alas, as soon as the spell was cast, a stray plushie spelled Luz’s doom. She fell back and slammed against the kitchen's tiles, hard. Amity let out a gasp and raced to her side, spell circle forming once again. Finally the horrid stench was spelled away, and the two girls just sat there, unsure how to carry on at the moment. 

“Okay. Not lemons. Not lemons at all.” Luz covered her face with both hands. 

Amity stifled a laugh. “Next time listen, okay?” She stood and offered her a hand. 

Luz shot Amity a smirk. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” She took Amity’s hand and started to pull herself up.

It seemed Amity underestimated her strength, and Luz her sense of balance. Because the second they reached the zenith of the pull, Luz fell forward into Amity, sending her backwards. Luz’s hand’s slammed against the wall on either side of Amity’s face, in an attempt to not crush her friend beneath her. Amity’s hands rested against Luz’s hips, and when her eyes locked with Luz’s, she turned a dark shade of pink.  
  


Unbeknownst to these two, their friends had been standing in the doorway since Luz’s first scream. Emira chuckled to herself, scroll flashing away at any given opportunity. “Oh man Edric, I just got _so_ many good shots.” 

Edric smiled mischievously. “Mittens won't know what hit her.” 

Willow raised her eyebrows at them, concern and curiosity boiling within her. But before she could say anything, Edric stepped inside the kitchen, smile and all. “ _Excuse_ me Luz, but what do you think you’re doing with _my_ sist-”

Edric was not ready for his little sister's attack to be so creative, or harsh, as the stray demon ‘lemon’ sitting on the table half cut into, was thrown right into his mouth. 

He screamed. 

* * *

Strong, cold, focused. 

That was Amity Blight, one of the best and brightest of Hexside academy's students. Even the upperclassmen steered clear of her, or treated her as an equal. So, she entered Hexside with her chin up, eyes straight ahead. She made it to her locker in no time, only taking slight notice of the strange looks and giggles shot her way. It was probably just another stupid rumor making its way around school again, nothing to be worried about. 

That is, until she saw the obnoxious flyer stuck to her locker, with a very _scandalous_ looking picture of her and Luz in an unidentifiable room. At the angle the picture was taken at, it looked as if Luz was purposefully, _smugly_ pinning her to the wall, while Amity stared into her eyes as if she were the whole world. Worse yet, there was a rhyme written around this picture, it went like this. 

_‘Amity and Luz sitting in a tree, C-A-S-T-I-N-G._

_First comes magic, then comes spellage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.’_

Amity’s first thought was ‘ _What the Titan is spellage_ ’, then she realized that that was the wrong thing to focus on. She turned towards the nearest witchling, face contorted with embarrassment and rage. “Who put this here?! Who put this on my locker?!” 

The poor witch reeled back in surprise, and after realizing who it was, fear. “I-I don't know, I just got here five minutes ago! B-but they’re all over the school!” 

Amity’s eyes widened. “All over the school?!” She stumbled back, out of the corner of her eyes she saw both Willow and Gus round the corner, flyers in their hands. 

“Amity did you see?” Gus waved the flyer around in his hand. “Someone wrote spellage! What the flapjack is spellage?!” 

“Amity-” Willow started. 

“Is Luz here? Did she see these?!” Amity gripped Willows shoulders, her hands squeezing tightly into her flesh. 

Willow winced. “Luz isn't here yet, Eda seems to think she should be fashionably late every day so…” 

Amity let out a relieved sigh. “Okay, that means we have time. We _have_ to take all these down and _destroy_ whoever’s responsible!” Amity clenched her fists and began to pace back and forth. 

Gus quirked an eyebrow. “What? Why? This is kinda funny.” 

  
Amity stopped, mind racing to find some sort of excuse, some sort of way to cover her tracks. “We-well you know, this is embarrassing! I don't want her to see this and start feeling... uncomfortable.” 

Willow shot Amity a pitying look. 

“Ohhhh! Okay that makes sense. Where do we start?” Gus pocketed his copy. 

Willow hummed. “ Gus, use your illusions to collect the flyers. Amity and I can start tracking down the… bullies.” 

“I'm on it!” Gus saluted, summoned an army of illusions, and spread out throughout the halls of the school. 

Amity started walking, Willow fell into step beside her. “So uh, where do _we_ start?” 

Amity’s eyes narrowed. “With the source.” 

* * *

The only thing stopping Amity from slamming open the door in front of her, was her desire to stay on her teachers good sides. Yet that barrier was as thin as a single strand of thread, one that nearly broke when she heard her siblings voices filter through the walls of the classroom. Willow seemed to sense Amity’s distress and opened the door before said barrier shattered. 

The twins had the gall to look surprised to see her. 

“ _You_!” Amity strode straight past everyone else in the room and jabbed a finger at her siblings, “What is the meaning of this?!” She shoved the flyer in their faces. 

Edric raised his hands in a pacifying gesture, while Emira circled to Amity’s left. “Hang on there Mittens! Sure the picture, the rhyme, that was all us, but we wouldn’t do this!” 

Emira nodded her head and placed a hand on Amity’s shoulder. “Yeah come on baby sis, you know we know how bad this could turn out if… well you know.” Her smirk had disappeared, replaced by a look of solemn understanding. 

Amity scoffed, crossed her arms, and looked between the two of them. “Let's say I believe you. Let's say _this,”_ she waves around the flyer, “Isn't your fault. Then who? Who else had access to this picture?!” 

Edric shrugged. “I didn't send it to anyone, and I don't think-” 

“I sent it to Viney,” Emira admitted nonchalantly. “And we all know she wouldn’t do this.” 

Amity’s face turned an angry red. “You-you sent it to someone?! Without asking me _or_ Luz? That's so disrespectful Emira!” 

Emira smiled apologetically. “Sorry sorry, it was just too _cute_ not to share! I mean just look at you guys!” She gestured to the picture to prove her point. 

Amity’s face reddened even further. “Willow, I may need your help digging some graves later. Two to be exact.” She spun around and practically jogged out of the room.

Willow pushed up her glasses, eyes glancing at all three blights before settling on Emira. 

“Um, where is Viney right now?” 

“Oh she’s probably down at the stables, with her griffon.” Emira answered without even pausing to consider. Willow muttered a ‘thank you’ before chasing after her high strung friend. 

* * *

“Have a good day at school kid! Well, don't be _too_ good, if ya know what I mean, but enjoy yourself!” Eda shouted over her shoulder as she flew off into the distance. 

Luz waved, took a deep breath, turned towards one of her favorite places on the isles, and took her first step forward. Despite seeing her friends just this past weekend, Luz couldn't wait to see them again. She reached the front doors, stretched her hand out and- 

The door opened and out walked three Gus’s, all speaking simultaneously. “Luz hello, you’re here! Wow! That's incredible!” 

Luz chuckled. “Eda’s not _that_ bad Gus. How come there's so many of you right now?” 

All three of the Gus’s held up their hands when she tried to walk inside. “Woah woah! Hang on now, there's-um, an emergency! Yes, the halls are wayyy too dirty for a human to walk in! We are currently cleaning the mess, which is uniquely hazardous to humans! So please wait out here!” 

Luz rolled her eyes. “I can see through the windows Gus, they look perfectly fine.” She pushed past her friend and took in the sight before her. 

There were at least five Gus illusions in this hall alone, all holding a bag full of _something._ When they saw her they scrambled away as fast as possible. 

“Huh. What was that about?” Luz turned to find Gus smiling a smile far too wide to be natural, illusions all but disappeared. 

“We were cleaning up the mess I mentioned. You know how these students can be, learning about spellage- I mean, magic and such.” 

Luz narrowed her eyes. “Gus, what the frickity frack is spellage?” 

“I-I didn't say spellage! Spellage! Where did you hear such a thing, Ha!” He was visibly sweating. 

Luz placed a hand on his shoulder. “Gus, come on, just tell me what's going on. Maybe I can help!” 

Gus’s face fell for a moment. “Well, I can't tell you everything but... Someone in the school is…” His eyes shifted side to side as he leaned up towards Luz’s ear. “Out to get you.” 

Luz gasped. “Is it Boscha? Tell me it's not Boscha.” 

Gus poked his fingers together. “Amity and Willow are currently investigating. They said you should stay outside til they come get us.” 

Luz cupped her chin and squinted off into the distance. After a few moments, she snapped her fingers. “If I know them, my timely arrival is what they’re counting on, regardless of what they say. Let's go Gus!” 

She sped off before Gus could stop her, he hoped Amity wouldn’t boil him alive. 

* * *

“Amity, wait up!” Willow raced after her friend as fast as her legs were willing to carry her at that specific moment in time. Which for all intents and purposes, was mildly fast. 

Amity did not slow, but Willow caught up anyway. “Viney’s at the stables.” 

Amity stopped, her face softened as shame filled her. “Titan… I'm sorry Willow. I shouldn’t have run off like that.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Thank you. Let's get this over with.” 

Willow offered a small smile in response as she took the lead, setting a reasonably quick pace for the two of them. They passed a few familiar faces, but none dared speak to them, aside from one infamous Grudgby captain. 

“Hey human lover, moving a little fast don't you think?” 

Amity’s gaze was cold, immovable. “Faster than you ever could, Boscha. I'm still surprised they let you be the Grudgby captain, especially after your performance last Friday.” 

A few students ‘ooooohhhedd’ at the response, Willow even laughed, but the two did not stop and ignored Boscha’s seething glare. Soon enough, they found themselves standing outside the stables. Viney was currently cooing at her griffon, who was happily accepting all of the nuzzles and love from her trainer. 

“Viney!” Amity shouted. 

Viney shot them a curious look, gave her griffon a kiss on the head, then turned to face them fully. “Whats up?” 

Amity didn’t bother answering, opting to shove the flyer in her face instead. 

Viney’s eyes widened. “Oh! I've seen this before, your sister sent it to me. I had no idea you guys were together-” 

She stopped speaking when Willow started frantically shaking her head. 

“We-We aren’t _together_ , which I hate- I mean, I don't care! Weirdo!” She coughed into her fist, then shoved the flyer back in her face. “Did you show anyone this picture?” Amity was practically yelling at this point, causing Viney to slowly shuffle away. 

“Erm, I sent it to Jerbo and Barkus. But they wouldn’t do this either, unless they’ve turned rogue or somethin.” 

Amity groaned. “And _where_ would they be?” 

Viney shrugged. “Check Barkus’s locker, sometimes we hang out there before class. Oracle hall.” 

Amity nodded and grabbed Willow by the wrist. As she was being dragged away, Willow shouted a quiet ‘thank you’ to the older girl. 

They raced through the school this time, all moved out of the way the moment they saw the expression on Amity’s face. Sure enough, they found the two multi track upperclassmen hanging out around Barkus’s locker, holding the flyers in their hands/mouth.

Amity grabbed Jerbo by the shoulders. “Did you send someone this picture? Did you?!” 

Jerbo brushed her off of him. “Hold up man! Geeze. No… but. Someone did steal my frickin scroll for a couple hours at the Grudgby game.”

Amity let out a frustrated growl. “Stole it? How does someone steal your scroll?!” 

Jerbo shrugged. “Dunno. But when I got home, it was just waiting for me to summon it.” 

“Wait,” Willow interjected, “When exactly did you notice it missing? Like, when during the game?” 

Jerbo stared at the floor a moment, thinking. “Right after they had to swap in a sub for Skara, cause she got hurt or whatever.” 

Amity went deathly quiet, Willow gulped nervously. “She didn’t play for the rest of the night, did she?” 

Jerbo nodded. “Yeah, now that you mention it she didn’t even leave with the rest of the team, to do whatever grudgby teams do- hey where are you going?”

Amity had begun to drag Willow off, a fierce focused anger glowing in her eyes, and one name echoing in her mind. 

_Boscha._

* * *

“Did you see the look on her face? Ha! What an idiot. That Witch should have thought twice before joining their side!” Boscha’s loud voice filled the classroom, her friends all laughed along, as they were obligated to do. 

Skara, however, nervously worried her lip, her leg bounced beneath her desk. 

Boscha noticed, because of course she did. “Hey! What's got your circles in a bunch? Feeling bad for Amity?” She bumped Skara's shoulder with her own. 

Skara laughed, reluctantly. “N-no way Boscha. Why would I feel bad for her?” 

When the door burst open, and an army of Abominations poured through it, Skara regretted her words. Boscha was the only one who put up a fight, taking down not one, but two Abominations with her magical and physical skills before being captured in a vice like grip. Once the dust settled, a scarily calm looking Amity Blight walked into the room, Willow close behind. 

Amity’s gaze passed over Skara and settled on Boscha. “So, did you _really_ think I wouldn’t figure it out?” 

Boscha struggled against the Abomination holding her, to no avail. “Titan! What are you talking about now, Blight?”

“You see, a friend of ours told us Skara here stole their scroll, a scroll that had this-'' Amity waved the flyer around in her hand, “In it. They didn’t get it back til late that night, and Skara wasn’t with you guys when you left the game, was she?” 

Boscha floundered for half a second. “W-what are you crazy? You think _I_ did this? Please, why would I waste my time?” 

Amity shrugged. “I don't know Boscha, why would you? After all,” She motioned for the Abomination to come closer, “This should be beneath one such as yourself, shouldn't it?” 

“Exactly-” Boscha’s continued resistance died the moment a purple flame appeared in Amity’s right hand. 

“You know, despite how little our friendship meant to you, I had _hoped_ you cared enough about me not to do stuff like this, knowing what would happen if my parents saw it.” Amity took a step forward. 

Boscha’s eyes grew enormous. “Amity, come on! It was just a joke - learn to take one every once in a while!”

“A joke?! A JOKE?!” Amity bared her fangs. “You really don't think at all, do you?! You’re so-so childish!” Amity’s hand was growing dangerously close to Boscha’s face. Willow shuffled nervously. 

_She wouldn’t really hurt her, right?_ Willow hoped not, but she didn't know her old friend like she once did. 

A wave of relief washed over Boscha and Willow when the history teacher walked in, humming a tune. A moment later, his eyes popped open, "Hey, what's the meaning of this-" 

Amity’s abominations carried the teacher out of the room screaming, crushing Boscha’s final hope.

"Perhaps you need a harsher lesson, Boscha.” Amity leaned in, dangerously close. “One I'm willing to teach you." 

"Wait Amity don't!" Willow tried to pull her away, but Amity didn't budge. Skara gasped, Boscha's other friends renewed their struggle against the abominations in earnest. 

Then the door burst open, again, and Amity had had just about enough of that. "Can't you see I'm busy-" Amity stopped mid sentence, panicked by the one who just interrupted. 

Luz. 

"Amity! Willow! What's going on here?" Luz ran up to the two of them, seemingly oblivious to the fear written on everyone's faces. 

"I-uh, um-I, it's not what it looks like!" Why Amity felt the need to say that of all things, she didn't know. Perhaps it was because she didn't want Luz, her sweet sweet Luz, to think poorly of her in any way. 

Willow stepped up. "Amity was just sticking up for us, though she is taking it a little too far…" she shot a worried look towards Amity, who shrunk even further with shame. 

Gus stumbled up to them, panting. "Hey, I tried to distract her but-" 

"But it seems I was right! I got here just in time." Luz said as she inspected the various Abominations in the room, "You really outdid yourself this time Amity. I didn't know you could summon so many at once!" 

Amity blushed.

"Augh! Would you just tell her to let us go round ears?!" Boscha kicked a foot out in her struggle to get away, a kick that sent Amity stumbling forward, and a certain flyer to fall out of her pocket. 

Amity spun to retaliate, but Luz's next words stopped her dead cold. 

"Hey Amity, you dropped something- huh? I-is this us?"

_Someone, something, end me now_ Amity slowly turned back, focusing all of her strength on schooling her features to appear nonchalant. But when she saw Luz's expression of wonder, cheeks dusted a light pink, all of her efforts were for naught. 

Amity's breath caught in her throat when those bright, brown eyes met hers, that faint blush still apparent on her cheeks. Amity couldn't help but step a little closer, she noticed Luz did the same.

"Wow uh… Wow. This… I'm embarrassed to say this but um-" Luz rubbed the back of her head, eyes avoiding Amity's own. 

_Could it be?_ Amity thought, _Could this be the moment?_ She opened her mouth and straightened her back. "Luz-”

"What's spellage?" 

Amity froze, eyes darting over Luz’s features. "Excuse me?" 

Luz chuckled. "I just, I don't know what spellage is so-" 

Amity's smile was cold. "Spellage? Spellage, Luz? That's what you-you know what. Never mind." She huffed and stormed out of the room, Willow right behind her. They stopped right outside the classroom.

"Amity are you okay?" Willow's eyes were filled with concern, and sprinkled with panic. 

"Just fine Willow. Thank you." Amity's arms formed a large spell circle, the room darkened when the circle was completed. 

The door shut and magically sealed, portals opened within the classroom. Gus, Luz, and a recently freed Boscha slammed their hands against the exit, eyes darting between the portals and the door.

"Did-did I say something wrong?! Amity?! Willow?!" Luz pleaded, sounding so confused it nearly broke Amity’s resolve. 

"I didn't even say anything!" Gus cried.

Amity laughed creepily. “No, nothing wrong. There are no bad questions, Luz. As top student, I’m just trying to… formulate the correct answer. Perhaps a  _ demonstration _ of  _ spellage _ will do.”

Out of the portals walked multiple six legged lemon shaped demons. 

Everyone inside started to scream.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope they're okay.  
> Hail the eldritch demon lemons.


End file.
